Restaurant Review - Jamie Oliver Kitchen @ Bali
After a great dining experience at Salazon Wood Fire Grill @ Seminyak Bali, the next day I decided to try out Jamie Oliver Kitchen @ Kuta Bali.
I decided to go there for an early dinner/late lunch at 4 pm (I’m on vacation, there’s no rules right?)
I was peripherally aware that Jamie Oliver’s restaurant empire had performed very poorly in the past few years, with the majority of them closing in the UK. Some locations outside of the UK (such as the one in Canberra, Australia that I visited in 2014) has also closed.
My last experience in Jamie’s restaurant in Canberra (then called Jamie’s Italian) was fantastic. It was nearly a decade ago but I remember ordering mushroom risotto and some sort of lemon desert that escapes me right now. Nevertheless, I remember that the risotto was mind-blowing. Creamy, al-dente rice, concentrated with mushroom aroma. With that in mind, I was highly looking forward to try out Jamie Oliver Kitchen @ Kuta, Bali.
First Impressions
Identical to my experience at Salazon, the restaurant was empty when I got there. But there was a family of four that did dine in whilst I was there.
It’s by no means a small restaurant. Taking into account the first floor, large second floor, bar area, and a very spacious patio area, I would say it could comfortably accommodate 150 customers or so. On this evening though, they would have to deal with a mere 5 diners. Maybe if I had come at a more normal dining time of 6pm there would have been more heads, but who knows.
The ambiance was typical of Jamie Oliver as a brand himself: unpretentious, rustic and homey. It was the same ambiance that I got from his Jamies Italian restaurant in Canberra, accept this one had a more ‘beach-y’ vibe to it, since it is in Bali after all. Wooden Barrell shaped stools, touches of aquatic blue colors on certain couches and ceramics, and thick boat ropes as stair ornaments added to the oceanic theme of restaurant. It was definitely very comfortable and charming, although I can’t help but feel it looked cheap. But then again, isn’t that the whole point of an unpretentious, rustic, beach-y themed restaurant at the heart of Bali? It’s not supposed to feel high end at all, in fact quite the opposite.
What I ordered
The reason why I chose this menu is because I wanted to see Jamie at his best, in his comfort zone and fundamental expertise of Italian cuisine. There were definitely non-Italian choices on the menu but I wanted to give this meal the highest probability of success. There was definitely an emotional equivalent of finger crossing and wood knocking deep within my heart, because I grew up watching Jamie Oliver and have looked up to him for the majority of my life.
There were two items on the menu, however, that scared the hell out of me: Mie goreng (Indonesian fried noodles), and Gado-Gado (Indonesian salad with peanut sauce). The moment my sense of sight captured those words on the menu I immediately disregard them as viable options, unless I wanted to ruin the whole meal experience. Some background: I have seen multiple videos of Jamie completely butchering the simplest Asian dishes on YouTube (and doing so quite enthusiastically!) such as fried rice and Gado-Gado.
I’ve seen him use store bought peanut butter, fish sauce and olive oil, and using a blender to emulsify when making peanut sauce for Gado-Gado (instead of using fresh peanuts, dark sweet soy sauce, some water, and grinding them using a pestle and mortar - the proper way to make Gado-Gado sauce). I’ve also seen him use store bought chili jam as the chili paste for fried rice (instead of using fresh chilies and grinding them into a paste). He’s a great Italian chef, but he simply does not get the essence of most Asian cuisines. Using store bought peanut butter in Gado-Gado or store bought chili jam in fried rice is fine if you do it at home in your own privacy (The United Kingdom is a free country after all); but posting it on your YouTube channel as a celebrity chef for millions of people to see does nothing but highlight your ignorance on these cuisines.
So “Jamie’s version of Gado-Gado” or “Jamie’s version of Mie Goreng”? No thank you.
Here are my thoughts on the Italian food I ordered.
The chicken was cooked very well. It had a hint of pink, which is how I like my chicken cooked (not all the way through). The rocket salad was fresh and very complementary to the heaviness of the protein. After about four or five bites however, I noticed I was yearning for more sauce. I wanted more of the tomato and cheese drizzled on top of the chicken and around the plate.
Compare these two dishes:
Now don’t get me wrong, the flavors were great, and the cooking of the chicken was spot on. I was simply yearning for more of the richness of that fresh tomato sauce poured all over the plate, almost like a lasagna. To me that fresh tomato sauce is the element that balances the whole dish and binds everything together, just like any good sauce should.
Adding to the dry-ness of the chicken parm experience was the extra fries that came along with it (I didn’t realize the dish came with a side of fries). Needless to say that the fries added nothing to the experience, it actually made me gulp my iced tea more vigorously in search for more moisture. It would be nice (to say the least) if the fries had its own sauce (tomato, chili, mayonnaise, whatever… just something) that accompanied it. Instead, it just added to the overall dryness of the meal.
(I’ll admit that the fries were cooked well; but hey… fries are fries).
I couldn’t manage to finish the chicken parm (I ate about 70% of it) for two reasons. Firstly, I was just tired of the lack of sauce and the continuous sips of iced tea in between bites I had to take (I felt like I was in one of those world championship hot dog eating competitions just gulping drinks periodically like clockwork). Secondly, I realized I still had a whole pizza to try and finish, being fully aware that my appetite had pretty much disappeared during this first dish.
Thus, after admitting defeat to the overwhelming lack of moisture of the first dish and gulping about a liter of peach iced tea to get through the ordeal, I heavy heartedly decided to drag on to my next white whale in hopes of a brighter future.
Alas, my hopes for the classic and humble peperoni pizza of saving me from my silent misery did not actualize. Just like the fries as an unexpected guest, the pizza added an uncomfortable amount of even more carbohydrate induced dry-ness and dull-ness to the meal. Was it because the pizza had been sitting for over 10 minutes and is now drier than it was when it first came out of the oven? Possibly, but I’ve definitely had pizza with more sauce than this also.
After a pathetic attempt to finish at least half of the pizza, I finally just gave up. A very nice female waiter came by and asked me if the portions are too big.
“Why no, it’s not the portions, it was the fact that I had to sip iced tea every two bites due to the lack of sauce and passion and a sense of decadence to the dish that made me had to fill up with meaningless liquids every 45 seconds of the meal, that’s what made me full” - is the thing I wanted to say to the very polite waiter.
But having just had a disappointing experience, I simply said "“No… I’m just full now” and proceeded to complete the payment process. At that moment, there was no reason to express anything to anyone. I was disappointed and I knew it.
The Jamie’s Italian that I experienced in Canberra was not here, that much I knew.
That much I felt.
There was no magic here, it was just an average restaurant with a celebrity chef’s name slapped on it.
Overall score: 4/10
Maybe I should have tried the Gado-Gado after all?