You have probably heard of the saying “Life is Suffering” — often attributed to the Buddha. When I first read the word “suffering,” I felt as if the Buddha was somewhat exaggerating and catastrophizing the nature of our existence. This was because when I (and maybe you) think of the word “suffering,” we envision a miserable person crying and lamenting in pain — utterly in despair.
Then I thought to myself: Meh, not really… I’m not THAT miserable. I think the Buddha was being too melodramatic here. He needs to chill out.
But after further research, I realized that this catastrophic imagery is not exactly what the Buddha was trying to convey.
It turns out that the English word “suffering” was used to translate the word “Dukkha” (originating from the ancient Pali language) — which can be more accurately translated as “unsatisfactoriness,” “unsatisfying,” or “unease.”
The word “Dukkha” is more subtle than simply a state of pain that causes us to cry, scream, or yell. Dukkha is a more dull, silent sense of discomfort that hums along in the background of our existence.
Think of the time you were traveling on a long car ride or a long flight.
After sitting down in silence for a few minutes, you become uneasy. You become restless.
Your ass starts to ache on one side — so you slightly shift your weight to the other side to alleviate the pressure. Then your elbows slightly itch — so you instinctively scratch it. Then your mind becomes bored with the emptiness — so you grab your phone and scroll through Instagram. Then you wonder why it’s taking so long — so you check your watch to see how much longer this is all going to take.
This image of a person feeling unease on a second-by-second, minute-by-minute basis — in my opinion — is a more accurate envisioning of the word “Dukkha.” It is not that life is full of misery and pain; it is that life is infused with a sense of dissatisfaction and discomfort.
Philosopher and author Sam Harris once described this perpetual state of unsatisfactoriness using a chocolate cake as an analogy.
As you are reading this, imagine a chocolate cake (or any other cake you salivate over) right in front of you. Imagine its richness and sensuality as it sits quietly on a plate before you.
Now imagine eating the first bite of that cake.
And now the second.
The third.
Now the fourth.
It does not take very long for that cake that you salivated over just two minutes ago to suddenly become this sticky, dry, overwhelmingly sweet sense of discomfort in your mouth. What you will do at this point is sip some water in order to tone down this discomfort.
If there is no water anywhere to be found, you will feel some restlessness and frustration from the thirst. At some point, you may even wonder why you salivated over this horrid sugary concoction just two minutes ago.
You see, even something as simple and seductive as a Black Forest gâteau will eventually bring about a feeling of unsatisfactoriness that forces us to adjust, tone down, and alter our state once more.
This continuous adjusting is because life is inherently Dukkha. There is a sense of perpetual unease and unsatisfactoriness as we move minute-by-minute throughout our days. If Dukkha were not part of our existence, we would all be sitting silently in a blissful state of ecstasy until our hearts stopped beating. We would never feel the slightest urge to do anything at all. But most of us do not live in a constant state of eternal bliss. Not even close.
We get hungry, we get bored, we get itchy, we get tired.
We get thirsty, we get confused, we wonder, we imagine, we hope, we want, we crave, we regret.
We excite, we ignite, we fight, we spite, we write.
Impermanence
I am not a scholar of Buddhism, but as I understand it, a primary cause of Dukkha is the realization of impermanence (Anitya).
Anitya is the idea that everything is transient and momentary. Everything is perpetually changing. This ever-present transience creates this unease and dissatisfaction that we may call Dukkha.
This concept of Anitya is beautifully illustrated in audio form in British rock band Keane’s hit song “Everybody’s Changing.” The lyrics of the song seem to portray a person struggling through the uncertainties of the people and relationships that are changing around him.
In summation: I misinterpreted the Buddha. The essence of our existence is not one of perpetual pain — but one of perpetual unsatisfactoriness and uneasiness. We are uneasy because of our desire for stability and permanence amidst an inherently unstable and impermanent world.
“Life is suffering” is not a sentence of catastrophe or sorrow. The word “suffering” has too much negative ambiance attached to it. Perhaps we should change it to “Life is Dukkha” in order to remove all the melodramatic and dark emotional valence previously attached to this statement.
I was wrong. The Buddha was not melodramatic after all. But that song kind of is.
Buddha was not wrong that life is full of suffering. If anything, that's common knowledge even to the rich and well off. Where he went off the rails is saying that acting like it's not real is the solution.