A Case for Authentic Blunt Speech
When cooking instant noodles, one has to open a small sachet containing that MSG-induced magical powder that is to be infused into the noodle soup. One day — at the age of 8 — I remember opening one of these sachets and said to my mother: “I heard if you eat too much of these, you will die.”
“Hush!” — my mother blurted out. “Do NOT say that word!” Apparently, the word “die” was too toxic for an 8-year-old to ponder upon — let alone express out loud.
There are certainly topics that should never be discussed nonchalantly in public and with certain people. The three classics to veer away from are often said to be politics, religion, and money (although we should probably add sex to that shortlist also). These four certainly provide very reasonable parameters for the conservation of verbal civility.
But what of the rest? What about things like death, someone’s physical appearance (such as their height or weight), or someone’s intelligence. These topics certainly straddle between the planes of the proper and the taboo. But I argue that too many people fall too quickly to the taboo camp and avoid these subjects altogether.
Free, uncensored, truthful speech should be encouraged rather than discouraged. Not only in public but also in personal everyday settings. And the presence of awkwardness in such truthful speech is not a bug, but a feature of our verbal operating system.
Late last year, I told a colleague that my grandmother had just turned 96 — and was in miserable shape both physically and mentally. Shortly after, I said that “…it would probably be better that she pop off sooner rather than later.” She laughed — but then said, “How can you say that?”
Another time, I noticed a billboard in front of a school saying “All children are smart!” Now this is a case where political correctness has gone too far. Upon reading the billboard I thought—that cannot possibly be true. Either statistically or philosophically, that statement does not hold water. And thus, if it is not true, why would the school outright lie to the children in such a blatant manner in broad daylight?
That billboard is therefore a lie, but a lie that is commended by society simply because it is deemed to be politically correct. I would be performing the same lie if I had said: “It would be wonderful if grandma lived for much, much longer. The longer the better!”
A truthful but more awkward billboard is as such: “Not all of you are smart. This is how life really works.”
It is not a crime to speak awkward or uncomfortable truths out loud — so long as it is authentic. In fact, it is refreshing. It is certainly more refreshing than political correctness or being overtly polite.
In today’s world of woke-ism and political correctness, there has been an over-pedestalization of people’s feelings at the sacrifice of truth. Being “nice” seems to have outranked the virtue of truthfulness. But being “nice” for its own sake is rather creepy. This is because there is usually a hidden and unspoken motive in being nice.
Some of those motives are plain to see. A credit card salesman smiling endlessly at everything you say is rather creepy — but at least his motives are completely discernable. There is an understanding that a financial transaction is occurring in the background of such civilities. And one can be rest assured that in the absence of that financial transaction, all the fake smiles and un-funny jokes will disappear.
But what about your friend, partner, or co-worker? In the instances where a financial transaction is not present in the background, being overtly nice and politically correct may simply be a sign of unspoken motives lying underneath the facade.
You are then playing a game of smiles and pleasantries in order to get something from one another. A game filled with unspoken contracts, disingenuous compliments, and unexpressed expectations. All in all, a creepy and manipulative game that only belongs to the corporate sales department, not the department of authentic human relationships.
No matter what one thinks of Trump, one cannot accuse him of being disingenuous. The same goes for people like Elon Musk or Jordan Peterson. Whether or not one agrees with their views, one can at least trust that these individuals believe what they say and say what they believe. It is just rather unfortunate how being so blunt can yield such sharp consequences.